I need help. I read one of your blogs once from a dog who trained his human to go for walks, open doors, throw a ball, and a bunch of other stuff. My human does all that pretty well, but I am stuck on two big issues.
First of all, she calls me a “watch dog.” Seriously? It sounds like I just lay on my back in the yard and WATCH planes fly over. NO! I am a Watch Dog, Listen Dog, Smell Dog, and Protector Dog.
If there is ANY sound or movement I bark loud and long. I announce that I am big, mean, and ready to attack intruders. I even bark if the wind changes direction. You never know where danger can come from. I am allowed to spend my days in a fenced in yard and just go in the house at night. I love this arrangement. I am on duty while the male human is away during the day and off duty when he is there, but I can help him if needed.
This all sounds wonderful, but there is a problem.
When I bark at intruders the female human comes out and barks, too. I am barking about being mean and dangerous. She only barks, “SHUT UP. SHUT UP.” Does she think intruders will come in the yard and talk? I then have to bark louder to make my threats heard. She barks her “shut up” barks louder. As if this isn’t bad enough, the neighbors join in, chanting the “shut up” bark. Of course I have to bark over all the voices. My throat gets sore and I want to stop, but they won’t let me.
It gets worse. She suddenly stop barking, grabs my collar, and drags me into the house – in front of everyone. I am humiliated. No intruder would ever fear me.
BB, how can I get her to just let me do my job?
Dear Protector Dog,
My Research Assistant, Cordless and I reviewed your problem. We don’t bark. When it is time for Anita to give us our meals we whinny. We usually start about an hour before she is due to feed us, just in case she might forget. The sounds of our whinnies are melodious and pleasant so nobody would dare chime in and ruin the wonderful feeling they evoke.
Even though we do not have your problem we both feel you should continue to bark louder until your human gets the idea. Make sure you resist her efforts to drag you into the house so that she really gets the message, and intruders will know you are still a threat. Some humans are quite clever; some just take a little longer to get it. Let us hope your human is one of the smarter ones.