Tag Archives: barking dogs

Barking Dog

Dear BB,
I need help. I read one of your blogs once from a dog who trained his human to go for walks, open doors, throw a ball, and a bunch of other stuff. My human does all that pretty well, but I am stuck on two big issues.
First of all, she calls me a “watch dog.” Seriously? It sounds like I just lay on my back in the yard and WATCH planes fly over. NO! I am a Watch Dog, Listen Dog, Smell Dog, and Protector Dog.
If there is ANY sound or movement I bark loud and long. I announce that I am big, mean, and ready to attack intruders. I even bark if the wind changes direction. You never know where danger can come from. I am allowed to spend my days in a fenced in yard and just go in the house at night. I love this arrangement. I am on duty while the male human is away during the day and off duty when he is there, but I can help him if needed.
This all sounds wonderful, but there is a problem.
When I bark at intruders the female human comes out and barks, too. I am barking about being mean and dangerous. She only barks, “SHUT UP. SHUT UP.” Does she think intruders will come in the yard and talk? I then have to bark louder to make my threats heard. She barks her “shut up” barks louder. As if this isn’t bad enough, the neighbors join in, chanting the “shut up” bark. Of course I have to bark over all the voices. My throat gets sore and I want to stop, but they won’t let me.
It gets worse. She suddenly stop barking, grabs my collar, and drags me into the house – in front of everyone. I am humiliated. No intruder would ever fear me.

BB, how can I get her to just let me do my job?
Protector Dog

Dear Protector Dog,
My Research Assistant, Cordless and I reviewed your problem. We don’t bark. When it is time for Anita to give us our meals we whinny. We usually start about an hour before she is due to feed us, just in case she might forget. The sounds of our whinnies are melodious and pleasant so nobody would dare chime in and ruin the wonderful feeling they evoke.
Even though we do not have your problem we both feel you should continue to bark louder until your human gets the idea. Make sure you resist her efforts to drag you into the house so that she really gets the message, and intruders will know you are still a threat. Some humans are quite clever; some just take a little longer to get it. Let us hope your human is one of the smarter ones.

Understanding us

Hi Everyone,
It is time for me to write my blog. I almost skipped it this month, but I had two questions that I do want to address. The reason that I was not going to write the blog is that I am SO tired. Anita changed part of the fencing in my field and there was a fair sized patch of sweet new grass. Cordless and I dove into that and ate until we both fell asleep. We woke up and ate some more. It was exhausting and wonderful.
I find fencing offensive (a little play on words there in case you missed it). I have been telling Anita for years that we don’t need fencing. I wouldn’t go far if I was wandering loose. I know she hears me. She is an animal communicator, but she sure can be stubborn.
I digress. I received two blog questions that I think complement each other. I’ll get to them now:
!. From JS in Idaho
What fun to read BB’s insightful advice! I would add that some people I know repeatedly JUST say their dog’s name, “Abbey, Abbey, Abbey!” and expect Abbey to know that they want her to come or maybe stop jumping up on people, or any number of things that she might be engaged in they want her to stop or change what she is doing. Any advice for them BB?

BB’s comment
I have advice for poor Abbey. Ignore these misguided humans until they get it right.
To the humans: People, we do hear your words as well as read your thoughts telepathically – but you have to have a thought! Please speak to us as you would speak to another human. We do think in pictures so be sure to talk to us in positive words. You got it right, JS when you wrote “stop jumping” rather than “don’t jump.” There is no picture for “don’t”, so you are telling Abbey to jump when you say “don’t jump”. JS you would be doing all of us a favor if you try to explain this to these humans and let them see the difference in the animals when they say what they want with positive words. Hopefully it is not too late and the animals have already tuned them out.

2. From AB in Maine
Hi BB.
I am not just a dog. I’m a WATCH dog. Nothing gets by me – not even the slightest hint of a sound. I bark furiously and keep my humans from danger. Sometimes I don’t hear anything so I practice barking. It’s my job to bark, and I’m good at it.
Here’s my problem: My human joins in on the barking. I bark things like: “I’m big and mean. Go away or I will hurt you.” Watchdog stuff.
My human just barks “Shut up. Shut up.” That doesn’t make sense to me, so I bark louder about myself to scare off the bad guys. It goes on and on for long periods of time. BB, my throat gets very sore and I want to stop the barking. How can I get my human to be quiet?

Hi AB,
Oh, you poor thing. Some humans are very hard to train, and it sounds like you really got a slow one. Keep up your good work barking and drink plenty of water to soothe your tired vocal cords, and hope she will finally catch on. Once in a while they figure it out.
Oh! What’s that?! The feed bin lid was just raised! Gotta run………………….