Tag Archives: human food

Human food

I want to thank my kind readers who sent Get Well messages during my illness. I am fully recovered now and ready to get back to writing my blog. I have been training my research assistant, Cordless, but she is not quite knowledgeable enough to pick up the reins just yet. (“Pick up the reins!” – one horse to another – who else has that humor? Certainly not Cordless. You still need me, and I am back.)

Hi BB,
I don’t know where to turn, and I hope you can help me.
I am a cat. Big tough cat. My humans call me Puss Puss, but I prefer Thor. I am a ferocious hunter and bring home many kills that could be used for meals for the humans. I got a decent size rabbit recently. I will admit that I ate most of the good parts, but there was still a nice filet in it, and it was still fairly warm when I put it in front of the kitchen door.
The female human screams when she sees this bounty, and acts like she’s about to heave up a hair ball. She makes the male human throw it in a big can with a lid on it. I don’t even get a, “Well done, brave lad.” I do like the male human. Once, when he was tossing out a good kill, he told me that if I brought a deer home he would love me forever. I’ve checked it out. I think I could bring one down, but I would need help getting it home. Got’ta work on that one.
One time I figured that she didn’t know the food was fresh. I caught a fair sized snake and brought it home. I was just about at the door and she walked out. I was so proud. I showed her that wiggly snake and she screamed so loud that she scared me. I dropped the snake and took off. Snakey hit the ground going full speed, and the human ran off, still screaming. I’ve been told that snakes can’t hear. I’ll bet this one heard her.
Get this: She put a pole with a tray of bird food on it. Bait!!! It didn’t take much to pick a bird off, so I grabbed a bright red one and left it at the door, figuring she’d be thrilled.
More screaming. The next day she put a bright pink collar with a bell on me. A BELL. I was mortified. Needless to say there is a shrub in the woods right now with a bright pink collar with a bell hanging from a branch.
BB, what do humans eat? I want to bring home something they will like and be praised for it.

Hi Thor,
I am at a loss to help you. I have pondered on this question for many years. I live in a lovely barn that opens to a field. The doors to the field are always open and I can come and go as I please. There is a trough with fresh water, grass to eat, and dirt to roll in. About three or four gallop strides away there is another strange looking barn where my human, Anita lives.
It’s a long story that I don’t want to get into now, but once I got out of the field and went up to the human barn. There were places where you could see through the walls. Anita called those places windows. Odd word. Who knows what it means. I touched it with my nose and I couldn’t get through it, but I could see her big stall. There were items all around the stall, which Anita told me was furniture. Where do these humans come up with words that don’t mean anything?
There was no bedding on the floor. Where must she sleep? I never see the truck with hay go to the door, or big feed bags being carried in. She doesn’t graze in the field. What does she eat? She sure holds her weight so I know she eats. There are no troughs around the house, and she doesn’t drink from mine. It is a mystery.
Continue to hunt and bring meat home. Sooner or later you’ll bring one they like and you will be rewarded with love and affection.
What’s that? Did I hear the feed box lid just open? Got’ta run……………….